"Anger Management Tools"

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matlem (670 posts) Jul-08-03, 04:52 PM (EST) "Anger Management Tools" Hi As parents we have an important role of being a thermostat for our kids and help calm them down rather than being a trigger for their explosions. We demand that they should hold it together and control their anger, but the question is how well do we cope with anger. I think the key is realizing you are in a WEAK position and need to WAIT. ( WW ) Do any of you have a special word that you say just before you are about to explode. - kids can also do an A - B-C exercise to monitor behavior. A is "A trigger." (Discover what triggers your behavior.) B is "Behavior" (figure out the behavior that you do when exposed to that trigger), and C is "Consequence"(think of the consequence for the behavior). " Other options include instruction in the use of mnemonic devices that enable your child to handle a problem situation in a positive manner (e.g., FAST-Freeze, Assess the Situation, Select a response, Try it out). " I will also try to come up with something D9 - short for the following 9 instructions Don't do or say anything Delayed response Deep breathing and count till 10 Dream you are relaxing in your favorite place Day - last day of your life to fix the relationship 2 face your creator Detach and disappear Dignity – remember to uphold his/her dignity Design – design a solution – be part of the solution not the problem, check the possible consequence of your solution well DONE say the word D9 and then say to yourself these sentences and act appropriately .Repeat until you cool down Here is another tool WIT WON - 6 STEPS TO ANGER MANAGEMENT http://www.addvisor.com/addvisorvol4no7.htm I hope this helps ( me as well ) Yours Allan   Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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Subject     Author     Message Date     ID    RE: Anger Management Tools matlem Jul-08-03 1    RE: Anger Management Tools matlem Jan-25-04 2        RE: Anger Management Tools matlem Apr-18-04 3            RE: Anger Management Tools matlem Apr-14-05 4  RE: Anger Management Tools Sue2 Apr-17-05 5    RE: Anger Management Tools matlem May-08-05 6

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matlem (670 posts) Jul-08-03, 11:40 PM (EST) 1. "RE: Anger Management Tools" Something I read From my son's behavior management program in the hospital, 5 problem-solving steps: 1. Stop and think 2. List your options 3. Pick an option 4. Do it 5. Get feedback Yours Allan   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

matlem (670 posts) Jan-25-04, 02:49 AM (EST) 2. "RE: Anger Management Tools" Hi, FCA tool F= freeze, walk away, delayed response etc C = check possible choices and choose the best one A= act on your choices Yours Allan   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

matlem (670 posts) Apr-18-04, 03:25 PM (EST) 3. "RE: Anger Management Tools" link to help kids manage anger http://www.onlineparadigm.com/archives/158-SP01_BM.MH.P.pdf Yours Allan   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

matlem (670 posts) Apr-14-05, 00:08 AM (EST) 4. "RE: Anger Management Tools" Hi, Here is a link for young people and anger management. http://www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/anger.asp Here are some tips As far as counting , count from 20 back wards Go and get a drink or something to eat pick up something to read, have something ready to read, it focuses your thoughts and concentration on trying to understand what you are reading Go to the bathroom Yours Allan   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Sue2 (5 posts) Apr-17-05, 07:00 PM (EST) 5. "RE: Anger Management Tools" Hi Allan I found the book "when anger hurts your kids" (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1572240458/002-2179588-7292010?v=glance)very helpful for managing my anger/frustration with my son's behaviour so that I could remain calmer and be more effective in helping him. It has very practical ideas about what triggers *we* as adults have and how to change our thinking about them which then helps us keep calm. My main technique is to remind myself that *I* am the grown up (i.e. so I have to 'behave' more maturely than the kid LOL) and to try and respond to the behaviours that trigger my anger as a call for help on his part. That way I can disconnect the 'hot button' but still respond empathically to his need for help to get out of vapor lock. I find I *really* need to make sure that I am managing stress in the rest of my life very effectively though, or it overflows into my interactions with my son. Cheers Sue   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

matlem (670 posts) May-08-05, 00:40 AM (EST) 6. "RE: Anger Management Tools" LAST EDITED ON May-08-05 AT 00:42 AM (EST) Hi, Taken from the links section here http://www.naspcenter.org/behavior/index.html check the articles especially Defusing Violent Behavior in Young Children Yours Allan   Remove | Alert Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

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